October 6th Class

“The Absent Black Father” by Dorothy Roberts

This reading deals with the idea of Black fatherhood and how it is associated with fatherless children. The reading states, “Fatherlessness is seen as a distinctly Black problem.” (p. 146) That is to say that being fatherless is a problem most heavily associated with the Black race. “This racial association automatically brands fatherlessness as a depraved condition, and it offers a convenient explanation for Black people’s problems.” (p. 146)

There are also many statistics that reinforce the idea of Black fatherlessness. More Black women than White women have children out of marriage. And more Black women head their households than white women do. That is to say that, there are more single Black mothers than White mothers. This violates what we have learned as being the traditional family model whereas the male is the breadwinner and the female is the caregiver. But many Black families happen to be low-income families. That means that this model was already challenged because both Black men and Black women need to work outside of the home in order to support a family. “The image of the Black matriarch similarly violated the ideal of the dependent mother. Black men also fail to fit the patriarchal model of the husband who sustains his family economically.” (p. 151)

A lot of this has to do with the images that Black men portray in our society today. “The Black men portrayed in the media and on the minds of many Americans today – gangster rappers, hustlers, rapists, gang bangers, drug dealers, crack heads[…]” (p. 148) This negative image of the Black man does not help to form stable families or encourage Black men to head their households and being fathers to their children. “Black men represent all of the negative aspects of fatherlessness but none of the positive potential of fatherhood.” (p. 149)

Also, with the government this discrimination is also seen. Social security is given to families where wives and children have lost the father figure, but when the father figure is absent, families receive “Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) benefits, which are both disparaged and meager.” (p. 152) This links back to the idea of a man having to economically support his wife and children. The idea of violating this “norm” violates everything that we know today as being an appropriate role of a father figure. “What condemns the absent Black father, then, is not his lack of involvement with his children but his marital and economic status. A good father is a married breadwinner.” (p. 154) But does this idea really fit with today’s world where no many families live up to the idea of the traditional family where there is a male, female, 2.5 children that live in a house behind a white picket fence?

This article really talks about a problem that we have in society. People tend to believe what they see in the media because as children the media really forms how we think since we are so heavily exposed to it. Children today seeing Black men as gangsters or rappers makes them believe that Black men are gangsters and rappers and not only do children of other races see that as a norm but Black children must also see that as being what they are expected to be. Being a minority myself, and having all these stereotypes thrown at me because of the color of my skin, I do not appreciate this kind of labeling. It is a shame today that in a world where racism has allegedly been dissolved that it can be ingrained in our system so heavily that people do not even realize when they have negative opinions about someone based on race. I know many Black families where the father is present and some where the father is not, but the families are still successful.

“Halving it All: The Mother and Mr. Mom” by Francine Deutsch

This article deals with the idea of couples that work on alternating shifts. That is to say that the men tend to work a morning shift and women tend to work a night shift. Clearly, that means that there two individuals in the family that work for money, but how does this change family dynamics?

In most of the families discussed, their main priority is taking care of their children. They come up with a number of reasons as to why they choose to do alternate shifts: the main reason being money, which is an issue with many families nowadays. These blue-collar families need two incomes to support their growing families. Other reasons as to why they do alternating shifts were they did not want anyone else taking care of their children or the lack of funds to pay for daycare. In one of my other classes we did this project where we had to research things such as jobs, daycare, transportation and housing from the perspective of an individual who works for minimum wage. In the Boston area, childcare for two children can be upwards of $3,000 a month if not more, which makes for a reasonable statement when said that there is not enough money for daycare.

In addition to jobs, most of these families have to make compromises in the home as well. Husbands will take over the household duties when women are not around or working. For example, when one spouse goes to work, the other has to cook and clean after the children. And many men in these situations do not feel as though they are doing women’s work but it is an obligation to their family that they must complete. That being said, many people still stick to traditional gender roles as breadwinner and caregiver. “Ironically, even though alternating-shift men have lower salaries and earn a lower proportion of the family income than their middle-class counterparts, both they and their wives readily invoke the father’s role as breadwinner.” (p. 125) That is to say that many men still feel the need to fit into that role. There was even one example of a family where the wife earned twice as much as the male, but he worked more than twice as many hours so that he could still fit that gender role as the breadwinner.

Mothers too try and fit these gender roles that are seen as traditional. “Mothers in the alternating-shift families are still regarded as the number-one parent, regardless of how much time fathers spend with their children.” (p. 129) These mothers fit into the role of caregiver regardless of the fact that they spend generally the same amount of hours with their children.

The idea of an alternating-shift is a good one for a family that holds true to the idea that want to take primary responsibility of raising their children and are willing to sacrifice time together to do so. That is to say, that it is clear these families care for their children. But it is kind of strange that these individuals still try and fit into their roles that are seen as traditional where the male is the breadwinner and the female is the caregiver. It shows how society holds true to these values and how deeply ingrained it is into our system.

“No Man’s Land” by Kathleen Gerson

Chapter 1: Introduction

This chapter tries to uncover the changing patterns in men’s behavior over the last several of decades. There are higher rates of women working out of the home than in previous years, and this changes the breadwinner model. Men are no longer seen as being the breadwinner, which was attributed to their masculinity yet traditional roles still persist. “The decline of the male as primary breadwinner is the most apparent aspect of change. Men who provide the sole or major economic support for their families have not disappeared, but as a group they no longer predominate and are unlikely to do so in the foreseeable future.” (p. 5)

Men, on average, tend to work less in the home than their female counterparts, but there has been a change since past years. Men now work more in the home than previously, but women still take over the primary role as homemaker whether she is a full-time homemaker or has a job outside of the home. When adding up all the work one does during a year (including housework and childrearing), “men work an average of eighty-eight fewer hours a year than do women.” (p. 6) But men have improved around the home.

There is also a changing pattern of men’s lives and if and when they find a partner. “[M]ore men and women are postponing marriage, remaining permanently single, or getting divorced. Divorce rates double between 1950 and 1985, and even though they have declined slightly since then, they appear to be leveling off at a high rate.” (p. 6) More men and women postponing marriage with the combination of high divorce rates means that more men and women are not living together and creating sustaining families. This also adds to the changing role of men in and around the household. “Paradoxically, a pattern of involved fatherhood has emerged alongside this retreat from family commitment.” (p. 9)

These changing patterns in the lives of individuals really helps to emphasize how much our lives are changing and how the traditional role of men and women does not apply anymore. There is no way to say that a family is traditional or that certain individuals should fit into the roles that our society dictates for us. It is interesting to see how drastically family dynamics have changing in the last couple decades and what it will be when our generation has children.

Chapter 9: The Myth of Masculinity

The ideas of masculinity have changed now that gender roles are slowly changing due to a shift in family dynamics. Men and women move over different paths than they once did which adds to a changing family dynamic. That is to say that the circumstances for men and women are changing every day. For example, many people marry and remarry, starting more than one family, which leads to different involvement in the lives of their children. “Several men did not participate in rearing the children of a first marriage, but became intimately involved in caring for the children of a later marriage.” (p. 261)

This reading also challenges different ideas of masculinity. There is not one masculine personality that all men have innately and the idea of a culture of masculinity is slowly dwindling. “The notion of a “culture of masculinity” cannot explain men’s diverse paths and strategies, either.” (p. 263) That being said, the idea of male dominance is still standing. Men tend to dominate the positions of power even though nowadays they have to compete with women who demand equality. This is a large change from a couple of decades ago when men and women had completely separate spheres where the former was outside the home and the later was in the home. An example of this is the pay gap between men and women. “The pay gap between women and men continues, to be sure, but it has improved from about 63 percent in 1979 to about 72 percent in 1990.” (p. 271) This shows a clear discrepancy in the power that male individuals and female individuals hold.

Also changing relationships has changed the way people act. “The rise of fluid sexual and marital partnerships has similarly ambiguous implications for men’s choice. Divorce, remarriage, cohabitation out of marriage, serial monogamy, and permanent singlehood all have grown in popularity since the 1950s, when permanent marriage predominated.” (p. 272) That is to say that “The expansion of legitimate alternative to permanent marriage, like the rise in women’s economic resources, has given men new freedoms and confronted them with new constraints.” (p. 272)

In my opinion, I think the idea of masculinity does somewhat still exist but at this point is outdated. Being a male, I was never raised with the idea of equality between the genders because it was always something that I understood. It was never forced upon me that my gender was the stronger or better in any way, yet I still believe that there is a culture of masculinity. Being a strong individual, both in personality and physicality are something that I personally associate with being manly. This is funny because I would like to think that I am all for being equal with women. My girlfriend and I always share the bills when we go out, or we take turns, and I have never once thought that I had privilege over her because of my gender, yet some of the ideas of what I deem to be masculine still exist. Its interesting how the thoughts of past decades and generations still linger today for one reason or another.