November 17th Class

“Whose Orgasm is this Anyway? ‘Sex Work’ in Long-term Heterosexual Couple Relationships” by Jean Duncombe and Dennis Marsden

The authors of this reading are talking about sex work in relationships. The reading asserts that individuals (mostly females) must take part in sex work in order for both parties to be happy. Women tend to seek out the emotional connection with the male in order to get that connection, but sex is a male-dominated activity where the female orgasm is no longer seen by men as necessary.

The authors talk about how there is a sex work involved in marriage. “The dominant male pays no attention to his partner’s sexual needs. (p. 223) That is to say that men are concerned with their own gratification rather than that of their partners as well. It is a one-sided activity where the woman participates in order to keep the men happy. Men must be willing to help a woman achieve orgasm during sex because sex today involves “male domination.” (p. 223) But on some level, women have the power. The article talks about a sexual need for a woman which puts the power in the hands of the woman. Some men feel vulnerable because of their desire for a woman and her control over the sex in the sense that she must agree. Many men also was a “sexually-experienced virgin” which is the idea that a woman is good in bed, yet no discussion of past sexual relationships or experience. (p. 225)

Some couples feel that it is necessary to add outside factors such as pornography, experimentation and masturbation in order to achieve sexual pleasure. Some relationships get into the habit of sex or a certain routine. In order to make sex more interesting, some people (men more than women) bring in pornography into the bedroom in order to get their wives sexually aroused. That is to say that men are completing a form of sex work by displacing their responsibility to perform sex work and physically please their wives, by using porn. This can be a turn on or a turn off depending on the relationship and the stage to which this relationship has progressed. Many individuals must also masturbate because of the lack of sexual satisfaction in their relationships. Some men said that it was better to do this than cheat on their wives.

One woman commented saying that there was a “brick wall.” This wall is that there is a certain level of resentment in her because of her sexual activity with her husband. Her relationship was disappointing physically and emotionally. Some couples turn to periods of celibacy or affairs in order to attempt to fix their own sexual frustrations.

In my opinion, I think that a relationship is about give and take. In order for both individuals to be happy, there needs to be a balance. If one person is achieving orgasm, there is no reason for the other person not to. Sex tends to be male dominated, but that does not mean that it cannot be fun and enjoyable for both parties. But in order to ensure this, both individuals in the relationship need to be open about discussion of their problems or frustrations which will lead to a better relationship. Nowadays sex is so present in the media and all around us, there should no longer be a stigma when talking about sex openly.

“‘Stepford wives’ and ‘hollow men’?”

by Jean Duncombe and Dennis Marsden

This reading deals with the emotion work done by men and women in the realm of marriage. There is the idea that many women become “Stepford wives” meaning that they tend to learn to tend to whatever the family needs or the needs of their husbands without really being aware that they are losing sight of what they personally want or need. Men are usually seen as being emotionless and not prone to doing emotion work as it is associated with what women tend to do around the home and pertaining to children and family.

This article talks about how both individuals need to manage how they feel as to how they think they “ought” to feel. (p. 212) Men are seen as being masculine “characteristically in the role of looking tough and being control.” (p. 213) That is to say that men tend to stay away from talking about their feelings and performing emotion work. “In their couple relationships, women say they try to make men talk openly about their feelings and confront their problems partly for men’s own peace of mind but also to promote the sense of intimacy they themselves value.” (p. 213) This shows that more women tend to value that intimate emotional connection that the “hollow” man.

Men do complete emotion work even though they are seen as “emotionally remote.” (p. 214) They tend to think of themselves in one was as being tough and masculine so when their ideals are violated (as given in the example of the man who could not achieve an erection in bed) they tend to try and sort out emotional problems within their own heads. That is to say that men’s emotion work takes on a role within the individual, meaning that men fix their own emotion problems through self-examination. These efforts are often supported by the women in their relationships.

The author also discusses the idea of the loss of authenticity. That is to say that many individuals forego their own emotional authenticity by giving in to what others want and changing themselves in order to perform this emotion work. This is shown in the idea of “flip-syndrome” where individuals shave a certain surface ideology but underneath feel something completely different about the emotion work that they perform.

In my opinion, I think compromising self and changing are what is entailed in a relationship and especially in creating a family. When dealing with my girlfriend, for example, she expects me to feel a certain way or say how I feel. And she is a very emotional person, as she loves to talk about her feelings. I, on the other hand, hate it, but will compromise for her in order to make sure that she is happy. I think that emotion work is part of a the compromise that individuals must have in order to ensure that both individuals in a couple are happy.

“What’s Wrong with Prostitution? What’s Right with Sex Work? Comparing Markets in Female Sexual Labor” by Elizabeth Bernstein

This article puts into question what exactly is wrong with prostitution and what are various views of hoe certain groups of individuals view prostitution. Most feminists call for a change in the laws regarding prostitution and deem them to be “unsatisfactory.” (p. 92) This study also stems from the fieldwork that the author completed in San Francisco working with prostitutes to uncover what she was researching.

The author asserts that many individuals do not really know what prostitution really is. It is something that is not really well understood since it is seen as a taboo in our society, many people do not want to get too close to it in order to study what it is like for these men and women that take part in it. She also covers a couple different perspectives on prostitution. The first is the radical feminist that says that “sexuality is at the root of all forms of gender inequality and sexual objectification is key to women’s subjection.” (p. 96) Women are being objectified during prostitution and this perpetuates the inequality that we see mirrored in our society. Pro-Sex Feminists see this as just “sex work.” This means that individuals should be seen as any other workers. They should be allowed to sell their bodies in whatever way they deem necessary.

The author then compares the different ‘classes’ of prostitutes. That is to say that there is a hierarchy in the world of prostitution which dictates where you stand in order to find work, what you wear, who you report to and how much you get paid. In the high-class area, women could potentially make hundreds of dollars a night due to the clientele that they interact with. On the other hand, the less high-class prostitutes are working in shadier areas for far less money. They go to jail often, they risk being beaten or hurt physically, they get paid little in comparison and do not have the protection of anyone. These prostitutes tend to be teens through their thirties but most only work for a couple of years at a time.

COYOTE is a group of individuals fighting for the rights of prostitutes. Though the majority of these individuals are not streetwalkers and claim that they would never partake in such an activity, they do not represent all prostitutes. They tend to be dancers, masseuses, escorts, exotic dancers, etc. The group itself calls for separating themselves form the stigma that is associated with this type of work and changing the name from prostitute to “sex worker” which has certain implications about it. The term sex worker seeks to make it seem like a more legitimate job. These individuals claim to be empowered and pleasured by their sexual activities. Also, the members of COYOTE are not exactly what you would think they would be. Many are college graduates or educated in some way, yet they chose this lifestyle.

The final form of prostitution that is covered in this article is the idea of exchanging drugs for sex. Many of these women are vulnerable individuals that depend on the drugs that they need. They know that the chance of them being raped or murdered is there, but yet, they go about their business because they need the drugs.

In my opinion, I think prostitution can be a very destructive and dangerous occupation. And though it is stigmatized and there are certain implications that people tend to associate with the prostitute, I really do not understand why the government can illegalize it for the sole reason that it is their own bodies and people can do with them what they want. That being said, if it were to be legalized, I think that model somewhat like that in Amsterdam would be necessary where prostitutes are drug-tested every week and there are certain criteria for being one.

“Sex Work for the Middle Classes”

by Elizabeth Bernstein

This article deals with the idea as to why are middle class women now participating in sex work. In order to answer this question, the author talks about postindustrial society. Women are often discriminated against for certain jobs that their male counterparts receive with similar education. There is inherent inequality in the United States in the job market between genders and middle class white women may see this an opportunity to get more money. There is high pay in the sex industry but there are stigmas attached to this kind of work.

The reading notes the experiences of many individuals who chose to enter into sex work. Many of which chose it for monetary reasons as their jobs were not paying enough money. Surprising to me though, many of the women were well-educated. This shows that sex work is not only a job of the poor, drug-addicted woman, but that many individuals from various socioeconomic backgrounds can now participate in this kind of work. It pertains to the new petite bourgeoisie which was a term coined be Bourdieu who came up with the idea of cultural and social capita.

The internet and new technology has been able to foster relationships between different sex workers. It can act as a way for sex workers to advertise what they do while sharing experiences with other sex workers. It acts a system of support for sex workers while connecting each other to one another in order to help foster their business and build up their clientele.

There have also been attempts to make the job seem more professional. Groups of individuals that try to do this make sure that they go over certain things such as protection and safe-sex methods, different ideas on how to go about business, and other lectures to make their work seem more legitimate. Though for the most part this work is illegal, they try to legitimize their own work and bring meaning to something with such a stigma by bringing a professional aspect to the work itself.

Also, the last section is about the idea of an attempt on the part of sex workers as well as their clientele to foster real relationships while performing the act. One prostitute talks about how she refuses to do certain things which in turn empowers her by only having clients that perform the way she wants to. In turn, that empowers her because she is equally as pleasured by the sex as she is.

In my opinion, I think this phenomenon is not that strange. Most individuals want to get as much out of what they do as possible. These individuals can have autonomy (or not) depending on if they want to find their own clientele, they can perform in the manner in which they choose, they report to no one, and they get paid relatively high pay in exchange for these sexual acts. The price they pay is one full of stigma and one full of low-status, which has individuals may look down on sex work in this way. These individuals are taking advantage of what they have in order to economically benefit themselves.

November 10th Class

Doméstica: Immigrant Workers Cleaning and Caring in the Shadows of Affluence

by Pierrette Hondagneu-Sotelo

Chapter 1: New World Domestic Order

This reading talks about domestic work in the United States and the immigrant population that is employed to complete these tasks. Nowadays, more women are working outside of the home and many women work longer as well. So what were once seen as tasks performed by women, are now being handed over to immigrant domestic workers in exchange for pay. These arrangements ensure that children get the care they need and parents do not have to worry about picking up their children, rushing to get them after work, etc.

Many immigrants, especially Latinos, flock to the United States (especially the Los Angeles area) in order to be paid domestic workers. It has become so ingrained in Los Angeles culture that, “For the masses of affluent professionals and corporate managers in Los Angeles, relying on Latino immigrant workers has become almost a social obligation.” (p. 7) But this is not the first time individuals have flocked for paid care work in the United States. For example, the Bracero program from 1942 to 1964 gave contracts to Latinos to work in agriculture in the United States. (p. 7)

There are many things associated with paid care work performed by Latino immigrants. First of all, it has a certain stigma to it, and low-status associated with the job. Not only this, but a lot of the things domestic workers do “are associated with women’s “natural” expressions of love for their families.” (p. 9) This means that it is seen as women’s work and thus justifies low pay since these women are naturally inclined to complete these tasks.

Even employers and employees alike have a strange relationship caused by this low status and low wage job. Employers tend to “go to great lengths to minimize personal interactions with their nanny/housekeeper and housecleaners.” (p. 11) This is true even though workers want interaction and recognition. (p. 11) Even though this is true, many employers “are enormously appreciative of what their Latina domestic workers do for them.” (p. 11-12) This relationship is often associated with racial and gendered inequalities. Also, legal status plays a lot into this by changing bargaining power on the part of employees. If an employee is an illegal immigrant, then they are easily exploited by their employers by threat of deportation.

These roles of domestic workers has changed over the last few decades. Black women predominantly completed these tasks up until the 1970s. “In Los Angeles, for example, the percentage of African American women working as domestics in private households fell from 35 percent to 4 percent from 1970 to 1990, while foreign-born Latinas increased their representation from 9 percent to 68 percent.” (p. 17) Globalization has increased immigration and stereotypes around this work and Latina women. “Stereotypical images of Latinas as innately warm, loving and caring certainly round out this picture. Yet on the other hand, the status of these Latinas as immigrants today serves to legitimize their social, economic and political subordination […]” (p. 18)

The movement of work from individuals in the family to others (paid domestic workers) has created other inequalities. “By subcontracting to private domestic workers, these women purchase release from their gender subordination in the home, effectively transferring their domestic responsibilities to other women who are distinct and subordinate by race and class, and now also made subordinate through language, nationality, and citizenship status.” (p. 22-23)

In my opinion, this work has a number of inequalities associated with it and it is an unfortunate reality for these Latina women. The inequalities of gender and race that we see from day to day in the United States are amplified by the subordination of their citizenship and legal status, as well as their poor social class. It is an unfortunate reality that these women are subjected to such stereotyping and few job opportunities. But on the other hand, it does benefit the women and families by providing money to send back to families. It is somewhat a double-edged sword, separation from their families and their subordination provides funds that are necessary from their families, and if they stayed back home, they would be close to their families, but they would be lacking the funds to support them.

Chapter 2: Maid in L.A.

This reading goes through a few different kinds of domestic paid care work. The first of three types is live-in nanny position. Many of the women that were interviewed experienced vast amount of inequality. They experienced feelings that their employers treated them “with very little consideration, very little respect.” (p. 31) Not only this, but many felt that due to long hours, around the clock demands, and feelings as being an outsider really alienated them They could never feel comfortable in their live-in situation. With low-wages, often times a lack of providing food (which happens to be a source of feelings of alienation) and the long hours, many of these nannies felt that they were being exploited.

The live-out nanny situation is somewhat different than the live-in situation. Many women like this job for many reasons such as: the restricted hours, the ability to communicate with friends and family, to live on their own rather than being restricted by the family that they work for, and the option to take ESL classes. This outside life has other benefits as well. Overall, these women make more money on average, for less hours of work, than the live-in nannies.

Many of these nannies form certain relationships with the children that they take care of. Especially when dealing with unruly children, many of these nannies were appalled by what they saw. For example, many nannies experienced disrespect from the children like kicking, biting, hair pulling, and pranks. And many of the families did not reprimand their children for this type of behavior, but rather, they laughed or looked past it. “Nanny/housekeepers blame permissive and neglectful parents, who they feel don’t spend enough time with their own children, for the children’s unruly behavior and for teen drug use.” (p. 42) But the positive aspects of having an affectionate job for someone you care about can “make it possible for them to do their job by making it rewarding.” (p. 42-43)

Housecleaners were the last example of domestic paid work in this chapter. These women are able to have a very normal family life. Not only that, but they tend to make more money than the other two types of work. Also, many women like this kind of work because they are “not solely dependent for their livelihood by one boss whom they see every single day.” (p. 46) This breaks of the monotony of living in a home or doing the same tasks day to day and week to week.

Also the type of job mandates certain things about the women’s lives. For example, being a live-in nanny makes it harder to have a family life. The author notes, “Among those I surveyed, about 45 percent of the women doing day were married, but only 13 percent of live-ins were married.” (p. 49) “Their subminimum wages and long hours make it impossible for many live-in workers to bring their children to Los Angeles; other live-ins are young women who do not have children of their own.” (p. 50) This makes it really hard because it distances mothers and children by country. This is the idea of transnational motherhood.

One thing I thought that was very interesting from this reading was the last section on “Narratives of Racial Preferences.” It was found that both employer and employee both have preferences for what nationalities that they want to work with or work for. Many of these stereotypes were learned by the immigrant women that came to the United States in order to do paid care work. Similarly, employers have the same stereotypes of women that they are willing to hire for their jobs. For example, many people say that Latina women are very caring and nurturing naturally. Also, “Employers may also prefer to hire Latina nannies, as research conducted by Julia Wrigley suggests, because they view them as more submissive than whites.” (p. 56) I find these blatant stereotypes kind of ridiculous. It is funny how aware individuals can be and still perpetuate these kind of ideas of how certain races act and portray themselves. It is so deeply ingrained in our system, that foreigners can sense the hierarchies and racial inequalities that are present in our society.

“The Place of Caregiving Work in Contemporary Societies”

by Deanne Bonnar

This reading focuses on the problems of care work and focuses on possible solutions to the inequalities of this care work. Much of the inequality we see in this type of work comes from the market economy’s focus on production of goods. This has led to many individuals overlooking the idea that women used to produce individuals and families prior to their entrance into the labor force. Often times, “Human care has been looked at as love, duty, or biological destiny, but not as work.” (p. 193) This is part of the reason why many do not associate this with paid work, and why inequalities still exist.

Throughout the world, there are many inequalities for women when compared to their male counterparts. “A United Nations group found that women are one-third of the world’s formal labor force and do four-fifths of all informal work, but receive only 10 percent of the world’s income and own less than 1 percent of the world’s property.” (p. 193) This is a horrendous statistic by showing that inequality between men and women is rampant. Women are expected to do more of the household tasks and thus must dedicate more house to work (this work including the unpaid domestic work). Paid employment, in fact, adds to this pressure by minimizing the amount of time women have for leisure and adding to their hours of work after they return home from their paid jobs. “Joann Vanek reports that whereas nonemployed married women work 56 hours a week, employed wives 71 hours, and employed mothers of young children 80 hours, their husbands average 65 hours.” (p. 193)

According to a study done, “the industry has claimed that a homemaker’s work is worth between $10 thousand and $40 thousand a year.” (p. 194) So why is this work so undervalued? Many people do not understand the nature of the work and how much is actually put into work like this. Not only this, but women can so choose to have jobs that are less restrictive on their home lives in order to complete these tasks. Also, “homemaker activity has been labeled “housework,” it has not been considered important for market sector work to be modified to meet the requirements of domestic sector work.” (p. 197)

In other countries, there have been attempts to come up with solutions to these issues. For example, “In Sweden, China and Cuba, the official policy that males must share the housework has been extremely hard to enforce.” (p. 198) The Swedish government has acknowledged that this housework is the responsibility of both the male and female counterparts in the relationship, yet how can this even be enforced? Females would have to violate their traditional roles as homemakers which is deeply rooted in many societies and try to get their husbands to participate in something that has long been associated with women’s work.

The author of this has come up with a few options in order to change this. The first is “a system of guaranteed parental leave that permits extended care after birth and occasional leave for childhood emergencies […]” (p. 200) This would entail individuals who have family emergencies regarding their children and the elderly members of their families to have the right to leave work or get parental leave in order to care for those that need it. The second solution was an idea proposed by David Gil called ““Parent’s Wages” [... which] suggests paying wages to parents in relation to the time they devote to child care work or gainful employment respectively.” (p. 201) The third solution would be to change Social Security in order to support “day care, a network of family resource centers, and training programs for parenting and other caregiving skills.” (p. 203)

In my opinion, the change needs to come from a deep societal perspective. Individuals need to change their views on appropriate gender roles and need to come to realize that this work is the responsibility of both individuals. Once upon a time, it was more clear cut, women would work inside the home while men work outside the home. Now that both genders are outside the home, it is time to start sharing the housework as well. This change can only happen over time and I do not believe it is anything that legislation can really change.

“The “Nanny” Question in Feminism”

by Joan C. Tronto

This article discusses the problem of nannies and caregivers as well as parents as a problem of feminists that need to understand the social implications of these positions in order to fully understand what is going on.

Mothers do not have many options when it comes to child care. They can either hire a nanny, babysitter or au pair, bring their child to a neighbor or family member or take their child to a day care center. But the concern of most parents is that they want their children to be raised in the way that they want their children to be raised and that they get the attention they need. This stems from the intensive mothering perspective of raising a child.

Domestic service is a greatly unequal and unjust job. “Because domestic service takes place in a private home, it is often not regarded as employment at all.” (p. 37) This job is unlike any other. Instead of producing goods, you are nurturing a child and instead of doing it outside of the home, the job takes place inside of the home. That is to say that many people see this as not having good status as a job. Domestic workers can also feel oppressed by their employers. They are expected to convey the values that the employers want which may violate what they believe as people.

Domestic workers get paid low wages. Their main problem with their own jobs, according to the reading, is lack of “sufficient respect and dignity.” (p. 38) They want their jobs to be recognized as something respectable, as something they can be proud of. Raising children is not an easy task and thus, must be treated as an important job. They bond and form relationships with the individuals they take care of, yet are often times still seen as outsiders due to the nature of their employment.

The hiring parents also have their own conflicts with hiring these individuals to work for their families. All the relations between employer and employee are normally designated to women. Women are in charge of the “hiring, firing, and supervising the domestic help.” (p. 39) Also, they may be aware of the pay that they give to the workers in insufficient and can be a source of guilt.

Finally, the children that are involved in this care work relationship are often raised with conflicting values. They are raised by these individuals which represent one point of view, one socioeconomic background and cultural understanding but being raised in a completely different setting. “Children may come to expect that other people, regardless of their connection to them, will always be available to meet their needs. They may come to treat people as merely means, and not as ends in themselves.” (p. 40) These children may take advantage of the people around them or be “more completely immersed into a racist culture.” (p. 40)

One of the main reasons for hiring domestic care workers is the level of control that individuals have over how their children are raised. When it comes to day care centers, parents want to make sure that their children are receiving enough attention. “Hiring a nanny is a way for parents to try to keep control of their children’s sense of their needs.” (p. 45)

Finally, the author poses some solutions to the “Nanny Question.” One simple solution, would be to impose labor laws including “minimum wages and social security benefits.” (p. 47) Another example of a solution would be government funding for day care centers that would provide families with ways to care for their children without having to hire domestic care workers. And finally, “rethinking the balance between work and life, determining how everyone can be properly cared for in a way that exploits no caregivers in particular, is the most profound challenge that remains.” (p. 48)

I agree with the idea that we need to come with at the very least, a system of protection for these paid care workers. They are exploited due to racial and gendered beliefs of a woman’s and immigrant’s place in society. These women come to the United States in order to send money back home for their children. Minimum wage laws, as well as worker’s laws should be implored to ensure the rights of these individuals are met. It tends to be hard since some of these workers are not legal citizens, but if government agencies helped to give contracts or visas to these women, the situation may be different.